Leaving

I wrote Leaving in 1987, 19 years old. It describes the pain of separation and longing for a lover who cannot be with you. Desire begets more desire, and desire and pain can be twins. This does not change with age, but one learns to live with it.

You look into her

Brown eyes

Filled with pain and denial

You get a bad conscience

So, you look away

But the memory of the eyes

Still stays –

You embrace in comfort

A warm body

Warm with waiting for you

But you leave after a while –

It’s what you must do.

Words of tenderness

Finally form on your lips

You are not used to this –

As she kisses your hand

She cries into your palm

Such cruelty follows bliss!

Enjoy, you say, and don’t feel sorry

But her body, still open, cries

And when you promise her

That you’ll think of her

She wonders –

Is this one of your lies?

Leaving is so hard

You make her want you

And then you must leave

You say you’re sorry

And you truly are –

And this she does believe.

Then after you’re gone

She turns all calm

Oh, the storm is over –

It is the leaving that hurts

Not the moments beyond

For then she is much stronger.

Then she leaves the darkness

Of this tragic scene

And she enters the light outside –

This is life, yes, this is life

She smiles, strange peace inside.

Vanita Shukla Hork, 1987

If you liked this poem, you will enjoy my book Memories from another Lifetime: Desire.  Available on Amazon, free on KindleUnlimited. Please do leave a review.